me and sir john betjeman

I am in a facebook group called 'I had my picture taken pretending to be a statue". It is actually one of my favourite facebook groups and I have provided a few pictures for it's gallery. My latest (taken by my Mark) is of me pretending to be Sir John Betjeman - I am standing next to him at St Pancras station, London. I post it here purely for your amusement. I hope you like my bag detail and the way I have made my coat fall just like Sir John B's. It took quite some work I can tell you.

jury service

I can;'t believe it but I have been called to jury service. The original date was slap bang in the middle of my exams and despite the fact that I told them I was moving to Liverpool and starting a new job in June they have given me a new date of 7th July! Seven days after I start my curacy! Really really very anoying.

I am appealing but the man on the phone wasn't hopeful at my chances of getting it moved again. Hey ho.

earache - 2

I have been to Oxford today for a conference at the Church Missionary Society (CMS) - Global Connections - Thinking Mission Forum. Some very interesting speakers and issues raised pertinent and current. The talks will be posted in youtube shortly so when they go live I will put them up.

To be honest it was great to be out and about with my fellow ordinands having a laugh and chilling out. We don't get out together enough really and spending time like that in almost unheard of. So, it was worth the effort (up at 6.30am, 2hr drive there etc). I am in bed early doing the seminar reading for tomorrow and planning a trip to Liverpool to measure up the new house and check for alterations, decorations, refurbs etc. It is all getting horribly real.

I still have earache but I think I will survive.

earache

...is what I have. Very annoying it is too. I haven't had earache for so long I had forgotten how painful it is and how much I want to get away from noise and chat - not great when have a block week going on and a conference to go to tomorrow. Hey ho.

Anyway, these two videos of my 'in laws' cheered me up today. This one is The Churchfitters - the band Mark's brother Topher is in:




This one is Mark's sister Ema and her now husband Stephen in a very blessed, but I am hoping ironic, video:

half-term

Well it is nearly over and tomorrow I am back at college doing a module called From Mission to Cell: New ways of Being Church. That will keep me busy most of the week. I am quite looking forward to it really. I have nearly read the set text and feel ready to take on the discourse.

I am planning to go to the Bristol University multifaith Chaplaincy tomorrow night for 'Faith meets Faith' - An Interfaith discussion on salvation for those outside of the faith. With speakers from the Christian, Muslim and Jewish traditions.

Tuesday night Mark and I are having dinner with John and Maya Bimson and on Wed I am off to Oxford for a conference. So, it really is going to be a busy week.

Having had such a relaxing week it will probably be a shock to my system to have to work to a timetable. Even though I have worked very hard I have been able to work at my own pace. Anyway, I am sure I will find the energy from somewhere.

It is the Oscars tonight and if I were in Liverpool I would be round Philly J's doing the Oscars in real UK time tomorrow night with media blackout all day. Hey ho...maybe next year?

Anyway, best go and have my tea. Running late tonight.

I was a bit cross yesterday

sorry about using a rude word yesterday (I have now altered the post) I really was quite cross about the women Bishops at Synod thing and the silly man's sermon just pushed me over the edge. But that is no excuse for being rude. So sorry. As an antidote to yesterday's rudeness I have put up a nice picture of a fluffy chick. Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts.

women and men

The difference is:
Women can't be Bishops...

I got an email today with the following press release from Women and the Church (WATCH). It made me feel a bit sad, but it doesn't surprise me.

"At the recent meeting of General Synod, members were told by the Chair of the
Legislative Drafting Group that it was “highly unlikely” that the vote on women
bishops would be taken by July 2010."

Thinking Anglicans covers the issue and there are some useful comments here.

It just feels like the Church of England isn't ready yet and even though that isn't really a good enough excuse I would rather the motion was truly successful at Synod than it be either rejected or just get through. I feel weak in the face of this reality and it makes me sick to think about inequality continuing. Meanwhile the (mostly) male Bishops of the world (though many aren't actually going) meet at Lambeth shortly and so many talented and capable women are still not welcome.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
...and, real men "p**s against the wall"
this is quote from the sermon below...(warning it contains reference to urination)


(thanks to Dave Walker and The Real Live Preacher for the link to this.)

stairs

I fell down the stairs today! No harm done just a bruised pride and a slightly elevated heart beat. But it does indicate how diddly dee I am at the moment (though some of you might already be aware of this). I had just made Eva's bed and had decided to throw out the duvet the poor child has had since she was 2 which is too short and very thin. I threw it down the stairs to put in the big bin then a few minutes later walked down the said stairs and slipped on the duvet. Let this be a lesson to us all - watch your step and dispose of duvets responsibly.

Anyway, I have spent the rest of the morning reading about church planting. I am struggling with the concept and practicalities...perhaps I will be convinced by the end of the book?

I think I am going out for tea and cakes with Neil later, I have to catch up with Liz H because I have some of her books, I am also planning to get tot he Foundation community meal this evening - if Mark gets back with Eva in time. Eva comes home tonight (I am very excited about seeing her) so I have sorted out her room and made her bed up with her new duvet cover (see above). Anyway, I must get on - books to read, sermons to write, letters to post, etc etc.

wednesday

It's half term and I should be on holiday but here I am writing essays and reading books about doctrine. Hey ho. Well at least I am getting through my list. I finished the essay, started some reading on the next one and even had time for a bit of day-time TV (it is the holidays after all).

This afternoon I went off to Cribbs with Becky to try to buy jeans (for her) that don't show off your bum-crack when you sit down. Goodness me it was very tricky - and we didn't succeed. Blimey, after watching Becky try on approx 20 pairs we both lost the will to shop so came home for a curry. Why oh why are all the jeans so foolish. All she wanted was a nice cosey proper fit...

Mel came over for Mark's marvelous curry, becky went to get Liz and Phil H from the station and Mel and I went to see Juno. We got there a bit late and had the worst seats ever, right at the front so I have a sore neck. It was a great film though. Very heartwarming and touching. My neck is very sore! What a lovely day.

Eva is back tomorrow and it will be great to have her back. I miss her. Best get some more peace and quiet while I can.

today

up early - toast and tea in bed - prayer - on macbook by 9.30am - essay draft 1 done by 12.30pm - read and disappointed - rework essay - essay draft 2 done by 2.30pm - Mark takes me out for lunch (Burger at Rocotillos which was not very good, not up to its usual standards and let me feeling a tad queezy) - visit to the Museum to see the Love exhibition which is on tour from the national gallery - back to work - draft 3 done by 6pm - phone Eva and my Mum (all is well) - wrote a first draft of a sermon for Mothering Sunday which has been brewing for a few weeks - I think it might be what God wants me to say (going to test it for a few days and see what happens) - supper at 9pm - watched TV for a while and now off to bed to read Heat.

A busy and productive day. But so much more to do before Eva comes back on Thursday evening.

night night.

The Christian Socialist Movement

I am member of the CSM and thought I would let you know about an upcoming lecture/ dialogue that might interest you. is happening next month:

Faith in Politics?

The Christian Socialist Movement invites you to join in the 2008 Tawney Dialogue; Faith in Politics?

6:30pm - 7:45pm, Thursday 27 March in Westminster.

The Rt Hon Stephen Timms MP (Labour Party Vice Chair for Faith Groups) and Rev Canon Nick Sagovsky (Canon Theologian, Westminster Abbey) will lead a discussion on the relationship between faith and social justice.

This event follows our AGM (starting at 5:15pm) to which all members are invited.



If anyone wants to come with me I am going to book a train to that London for just after lunch. Do let me know if you fancy coming.

weekend

It is cold. Is it cold where you are? Well, it is very cold here. But it is lovely and bright so being cold is inconvenient but with an extra jumper on it is bearable. I am really struggling with energy levels which surprises me as I have had plenty of sleep and am not drinking so sleep patterns are quite normal. I don't really know why I am sluggish. Anyway, we have had a busy weekend with some restful bits in between...

Elise's mum (Kate) and sister (Orla) have been in Bristol - Orla who is 7yrs stayed over on Friday and she and Eva had a great time. They haven't seen each other for almost a year so it was great for them to get together again and have a good play. They also had some interesting conversations about being aunty's and Living in Liverpool - Orla is moving back from Spain with her mum and dad. Anyway, we had a successful morning playing and then lunch at Fresh and Wild followed by a walk. Elise, Kate and Orla have now gone to Liverpool.

I went to M&S to buy some place mats and dinner service. Claire Caddick's mum sent me some 20% off vouchers so I took the opportunity to go and get a few things I needed /wanted. I also got a new pair of jeans so I don't look quite so scruffy (some hope - I have a talent for looking scruffy even in the nicest clothes). John H came for dinner which was lovely. We ate lasagna and M&S chocolate pudding. Played guitars and chatted and chatted. It was great and as none of us were drinking it didn't get messy at all. Very civilized.

I got up for church this morning - I don't know how or remember getting up - I really wanted to carry on sleeping but was disciplined and we all (Mark as well) made it to church just in time. Came back and had a chat with Linda, a Trinity student who is going to start coming ti St Peter's alongside her commitments to St Mary's Shirehampton. It was so good to speak to another trainee vicar about the church and it's potential. Very refreshing. I had to then clean the house and make lunch which seemed to take for ever.

My mum arrived shortly after lunch and we have been watching TV for a an hour or so. I am now going to start changing the beds and cleaning up a bit upstairs. I am so looking forward to bed. I might be tempted to try out the nice clean bed when I have made it! I am not sure I am going to get out again tonight. I'll have to wait to see if I get a second wind.

So, not all that exciting really. But hey ho...sometimes we have to tread water in order to get a sense of where we are in relation to the shore.

white wine

It is holiday time again but I have far too much work to do! I will get a bit of a rest but I must crack on with stuff in order to not lose my head at a crucial moment. So, I have come home with a pile of books and a list as long as my arm.

I have given up...(I am scared to write this because as soon as I tell anyone what I have given up I feel like I am immediately going to fail)...white wine for lent. I think this week is going to be the biggest challenge. Having a bit of a break, Eva being away, time for a lie in and no white wine. Seems almost unheard of. Anyway, I felt like I was in need of a bit of discipline and the white wine still had an unnecessary hold on me so I felt it was the best thing to give up. I haven't outlawed all forms of alcohol but I don't have the same interest in most other sorts of alcohol so I didn't feel the need to remain completely tea total through lent. Having said that I haven't had anything to drink since shrove Tuesday. Not all that bothered so far.

Anyway, now I have written that I fancy a nice glass of Chablis. But i will not relent.

Babies

I have just got back from a baby shower. Miriam is due to have her 3rd baby really soon and tonight a group of us got together at Laura's house to wish her all the best. It was a lovely evening and great to see a group of girls having a great time. In the room were at least 3 other pregnant women, as you know I am living with a pregnant woman and last week another friend of mine gave birth to a baby boy so it really is baby central round here.

I know I won't be having any more children and I always thought I would have more than one. But there you go, it didn't work out like that. I don't regret anything that has happened but sometimes it does feel a bit strange not minding. I feel like I should be more bothered. Christians seem to have loads and loads of children...

Anyway, I am plodding along with work...writing essays, a homily, a sermon and stuff. I have had a quiet day getting on with bits and bobs of work. Slowly the list gets shorter.

wipples

Today was a momentous day because today I ordered my clergy kit from Wipples. I chose Wipples because I need to be properly fitted and in my experience being measured isn't enough and a pre-making fitting is a very good idea. Wipples offer this service and they are in Exeter so I can go down for the fitting, meet up with Eleanor and be absolutely sure it all fits before I buy it. It may cost more but if you are a funny (ha ha and peculiar) shape like me a good fitting makes all the difference.

It was a very odd feeling getting the stuff down on paper and committing myself to fabric, style (though to be honest the choices are limited). I am going for a classic black almost catholic look. I have even gone as far as ordering a cloak! I am going to look sharp.

I am off to bed now. We have had a very exciting day at Trinity discovering spiritual gifts - I didn't get anything new today though I did renew my subscription to the gift of beverage making, being 2 mins late for stuff, making people laugh at my funny hair, saying rude things and eating cake. In addition I remembered how important the more esoteric spiritual gifts are to the church - for building up love, serving, speaking into the world and for their wow factor. When Paul writes to the Corinthian church warning the not to take this stuff for granted or abuse it he was deadly serious about the importance of making the most of all aspects of Christian life - being spiritual is at the heart of this. In an age of spirituality Christianity can forget to make the most of this and downplay the experience of faith in action. When tempered by the mundane and issues of justice, peace and reconciliation God's spiritual action is sublime and extra-ordinary.

How big is the universe?

This youtube video tries to explain. But, be warned it is big!




if that is too difficult to imagine Monty Python know a song about it that at least can cheer you up whilst your mind recovers from the stress of imagining big numbers.





I know it is very early on a Monday morning to be thinking about the size of the universe but it does put things in perspective and either you will be spurred on or stunned into inertia by imagining yourself so small. If you can bear to question deeper ask yourself where God is? Is your God big enough to care about all this or does your God only care about what the Arch Bishop of Canterbury might have said, or whether Gay people are welcome in church, or if women can be Bishops. Trying to see the bigger picture I'm guessing we might have missed the point.

Portishead

It was a lovely sunny day today and we felt we needed some fresh air and a totter. So, after church we went to Portishead. I don't really know why we chose Portishead but there you go - it was our first time, we had always intended to go in the summer to the lido but never made it, we now have a mental list of places to go before we move and today was Portishead!

It was lovely, the sea was out and mud was immense (like the skin of an elephant), we climbed up the the 'lighthouse' and looked out at Wales. The wind was up and the sun out and we certainly got our fresh air. We had a cup of tea and an icecream then headed home. Since then I have read a book on the liturgical year and had a doze. Now I shall eat a chicken dinner and later will go off to Foundation. It has been a restful weekend. Just what I needed after last week.

ebay stoles

On Monday Mark bid (on my behalf) on four liturgical stoles - red, purple, black and green. He was successful and they arrived today - all four for £85. Which believe me is a bargain. Even more of a result is the fact that they are beautiful handmade stoles each with it's own quirky character. I will get mark to take some pictures of them and show you some time. This is an example of how blessing just appears from nowhere. I have been feeling pretty down in the dumps - overwhelmed by essays etc, feeling nervous about curacy stuff, stress of planing to move, family stuff, etc etc. I even felt I needed a few days off and stayed at home to reflect and recoup. So, I was surprised that these stoles could cheer me up so much - after all they are a symbol of the immanent change in my (and my family's) life. And yet I found them a comfort and blessing. Perhaps it was the fact that they are so lovingly and thoughtfully made by a complete stranger who just made them because she could. Perhaps it was the fact that I am starting to come to terms with the adventure of leaving Trinity and starting curacy etc. Whatever the reasons I am, at last, starting to feel excited.

Amnesty - urgent action required

I have just heard from Amnesty asking me to place this request on my blog. Please respond if you feel you are able.

18-year-old Behnam Zare' is at risk of imminent execution for a murder committed when he was 15 years old. Iran remains one of just a handful of countries that continue to execute child offenders – people under 18 years old at the time of their crime, despite its obligations under international law.



Update

Child offender Behnam Zare' is now facing execution within 72 hours. The order to carry out his execution has been sent to the prison where he is held. If you feel able to protest against the execution of this young man please do so through the Amnesty website (please note: you do not have to be a member of Amnesty to register your request)

monday - essay writing

Today I am trying to write an essay. After recent disappointments I am finding it very difficult to be optimistic or even formulate a plan. There is always an element of despair in essay writing - I think this is part of my process - can I get it done? Do I know enough about the subject to write in n informed way? Have a read enough to back up points? then there are issues of spelling and grammar which plague me at every turn. I know I shouldn't be down in the dumps and should just get back on the essay writing horse. But it is hard to motivate myself. That said a nice cup of tea and a shortbread biscuit has helped. That and I have created a spider chart (mind map to those of a previous generation) so I do have some idea of how to progress. So, after another cup of tea and a stroll about the house I shall get back on and see what occurs.

weekend

Liturgically accurate purple hair!









Our little trip to that London was a great success. Mark and I really needed some time away together on our own - something we didn't realise we needed until we were o the train and chitter chattering about all the stuff that's been going on and our future plans. The show was very funny and it was good to see Terry (Kilkerry) Titter making an appearance as Malcolm. I really properly laughed out loud which I feel I haven't done for ages. Mark and I went out for a mighty fine curry after and I got hiccups.

Our hotel was very comfortable and once I had my earplugs in I slept like a log (until the fire alarm went off in the morning - it was a false alarm but I was alarmed!). Saturday was spent walking about in the sunny cold London day. We went to the National portrait gallery, to Covent Garden and just potterd about until we got the train back at 3.15pm. Back for tea and to see Eva before bed.

Today I slept quite a lot, went to Sainsbury's (I don't usually like shopping on Sunday but seeing as yesterday was taken up and we had no food in for the week so it was a bit necessary). Then I went to Candlemass at St Peter's which was quite hectic but well worth the effort. Jenny had prepared a great service and it was good to see a few children there. I played the guitar and generally helped out - mainly on naughty boy monitoring duty. We changed the vestments to purple for lent (at least my hair now reflects liturgical colours).

We have roast beef for dinner and I need an early night. The wind is blowwing hard outside and I am looking forward to Antiques Roadshow - I think I am getting old!

count arthur strong 2

Tonight Mark and I are off to That London to see Count Arthur Strong at the Arts Theatre. This is Mark's birthday treat and we have been looking forward to it for ages. I really need to get away so I am very excited. I have had a very tricky week - Got an essay back and was disappointed with the mark, just feel like I am not getting much feedback on how I am getting on, feel a bit on the edge of things and have so much to do that it is a bit overwhelming. I know I have been here before and that it comes good in the end but this sort of spiritual burn out is very painful and I hate feeling disconnected from God. It creates a strong yearning and confusion. I understand how the Psalmist must have felt when he wrote Psalm 86:

Incline your ear, O Lord, and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.
Preserve my life, for I am devoted to you;
save your servant who trusts in you.
You are my God; be gracious to me, O Lord,
for to you do I cry all day long.
Gladden the soul of your servant,
for to you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving,
abounding in steadfast love to all who call on you.
Give ear, O Lord, to my prayer;
listen to my cry of supplication.
In the day of my trouble I call on you,
for you will answer me.


There is none like you among the gods, O Lord,
nor are there any works like yours.
All the nations you have made shall come
and bow down before you, O Lord,
and shall glorify your name.
For you are great and do wondrous things;
you alone are God.
Teach me your way, O Lord,
that I may walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart to revere your name.
I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart,
and I will glorify your name for ever.
For great is your steadfast love towards me;
you have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.


If only David had Count Arthur Strong to cheer him up.