Thursday, June 14, 2007

concentration

Probably because I wasn't well, most likely because I was exhausted at the end of the first Trinity College year, and definitely because I am distracted by the tennis at Queens I am have found it difficult to concentrate this week. I am preparing my head for the writing of the PhD by doing essential filing, sorting out books, preparing the enormous bibliography and doing plans for chapters. Although I have approx 45,000 words they are not all in the right order so I am trying to find the most efficient way to re-arrange as well as plan re-writes. I also want to complete the first draft of the 2nd case study this week. No pressure then.

I have a weird relationship with pressure. I need it to get stuff done but I resent it and get very cross when I have to live long term with it. It makes me feel like I need to rebel and kick back. To be honest I have got to the point with this project where I need the satisfaction of completion so the pressure to move it on is both internal and external. I need it to get done for personal satisfaction and the University of Liverpool need me to get it done because if don't I ruin their research statistics. So, bring on the pressure. Fighting talk.

If you fancy a prayer project please could you put in a few words about my words - I am really struggling with my dyslexia at the moment and am lacking confidence with useful (long and complicated) words. Thanks. xxx

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Will be praying for you Ellen!

Ellen Loudon said...

thanks lucy. xxx

bigdaddystevieB said...

me too! Keep going!
X

John H said...

Will be thinking of you, and hoping the words will arrive and behave themselves.