We have had a very hectic weekend that started last Thursday and feels like it is still going. I met with fellow BA students on Thursday and registered on Friday. Then we had a weekend of meeting and greeting, settling in and getting to know the place and people. It was a strange experience going back to being an undergraduate student having been a lecturer for so long. I suddenly had a lot of sympathy for their struggles - particularly making sense of module choosing. I had to have help from three of my new friends and a tutor but still managed to get confused so have to return to my persoanl tutor on Tues with a new form (can you believe it I actually filled it in with a biro not pencil so had to get new forms). I had my hair cut on Wednesday and it was a disaster (Mark says he can't tell the difference - which is supposed to be a comfort but to be honest nearly sent me over the edge) so I coloured it pink which made me feel much worse because then I stood out like a sore thumb. So, there I was in muddle with modules, needing all the help I could get, with a husband that doesn't notice how I look and pink hair.
I think I have the right bible and the right prayer book, I think I have appropriate pens and pencils (I have got a pencil now!), I bought a new filing cabinet because mine broke and all my phd files got trapped inside, and I have a stash of ink cartridges for writing in best. But, I don't feel very ready for it at all. It is all very strange and disarming. Everyone is a Christian and I am not used to this many Christians in one place. Everything was unfolding around me - meetings happening, people being kind and supportive. I feel like a great big idiot who can't tick the right boxes and fill in simple forms. I am sure all this insecurity is very normal and in some ways to be expected. It is easy for me to ridicule other people, be ruthless with myself and run and hide from the stuff that is too much to cope with. But, here I have a chance to learn to be a bit more patient with myself, learn from other people (whoever they are) and stop fighting against everything all the time. I can also learn new disciplines - chapel at 8.40am, community prayer, lectures, essays, not farting in my shared office. I am here for a very good reason, and I feel very close to God in it all. I also feel close to Mark and Eva - who have been amazing. How great is that. All those fears, all the 'leaving of Liverpool', escaping Edge Hill, taking a phd to Bristol to finish. They are absolutely still there but by just keep on keeping on we have moved forward and are here starting a new adventure.
Mark and I went to the big Foundation service last night and knew that we have been very blessed, to find a church community that helps makes sense of spiritual experiences is a fantastic thing.
So, I start the new term hoping I can do all my home work, fit in a phd, be nice to my classmates, love my family and be respectful of other people's traditions. Bit of a big prayer list so if anyone can help me out please do.
xxxx
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8 comments:
I am really,really proud of you! you're all doing a great job and supporting and loving each other.It is really encouraging to witness and fantastic to see that you are all happy. Am really glad that God lent you out to Bristol. i hope they appreciate it because timne is ticking till you're due back to us!!!
I love you all very much. Keep your eyes out for any young,ghetto vicars (you know what i like!) - i bet all this exclamation use is killing mark!!!!!!!!!
anyway, keep da faith.
love you loads.
Me xxx
st claire you are such a joy!
thanks for loving us.
xxx
As Ellen's study sharer, I thought I would drop in and say hello.
"Hello"
Liz
Hi Liz
i don't think i have ever met you. From that one liner you sound lovely though!
keep on the Blog Liz!
xxx
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"
Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
st claire
good use of punctuation and well constructed joke. Well done.
Thanks for logging on anonymous Liz. I locked up our office and blew out the candle when I left at 7.30pm. What a swot I am.
xxx
Hi Ellen,
I really enjoyed chatting to you in the pub the other week and am really glad you have come to be involved in foundation, where I can assure you there are no forms to fill in.
charity x
Hi Charity
thanks for your message and your encouragement...right back at ya sister.
xxx
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