last day of the year

Well, here we are then. The last day of the year and all is quiet. All our vistors left yesterday and Elise has been at Wayne's so it is just the three of us left. It is very quiet here. Mark went into the Amnesty Bookshop to do his last shift of the year. Eva and I went to Cribbs to take some clothes back and to potter then we went to see Enchanted. Eva has been desperate to see it all holidays - and I think I've been quite keen as well. We both loved it. It had a reasonable sense of self-reflection and irony though I still think the Disney smaltz was a little on the heavy side. The thought of a city lawyer marrying a simple, innocent, Disneyfied pale thin virgin in preference to his long-term designer 'woman of the world' left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. But at least we didn't have to see them snog too much or have any nasty sex scenes. The moral ending was a bit confused and I am not sure if (according to the film) true redemption was found in this world or if we still need Disney to save us???? I discussed this with Eva who was very sure that God would still be involved if it was a 'really true story'. At least one of us can tell the difference between fact and fiction.

We met Mark for a spot of lunch then came home to rest - for some reason we are still very tired and can't be bothered to move from the house again today. We have this made capped plan to go to Wookey Hole tomorrow. We have free tickets and rather than stay at home festering on the first day of the year we thought we'd spend it down a hole in Somerset - and why not?

Well, I hope you have a lovely rest of the last day of the old year...and Happy New Year! xxx

surprisingly busy

It is remarkable how busy we have been. Providing food for large numbers of people, making and remaking beds, tiding up and cleaning loos and keeping the cat away from turkey left-overs has taken it's toll. I think I will need a holiday after all this. Despite all the business I have had a few very good lie-ins. Having my Mum about means that she and Eva busy themselves in the first hours of the morning. I have got used to not getting up until 9.30am - so I don't know how we will get back into a routine of early mornings again next week! Eva is back to school on Thursday, I have an essay to write so will be back to that on Thursday as well. Mark is back at work on Wednesday. But until then there is still a lot of holiday fun to be had...

Phil J is here and we are off to a wedding today on the Glass Boat in Bristol docks. It looks very nice but I have only just about managed to find an outfit. I hate looking nice and tidy. I hate all being dressed up - I feel uncomfortable. But what I have is ok. I think it will see me through the day without being too tight and trussed up. Mark is taking us for 2.30pm start. I will repost back tomorrow.

Apart from that we have visitors for just one more day - so best make the most of it. Then we are going to hide in the house for New Year's eve. Might pop out to the country for a day in the New Year. We have a party for my Mum on Sat (she is 70 on Fri) so we are off to Virginia Water on Friday night after school.

Anyway, Phil is encouraging me to get ready for the wedding now so I had better go and sort myself out now. Hope you all are having a lovely Christmas and getting ready for the New Year.

elf me

Happy Christmas
I have elfed myself...

nativity

Elise and I watched the Liverpool nativity again last night and found it very emotional experience the 2nd time around. There was something about the grounded way they told the story - with all it's impossibleness, confusion, pain and unlikely heroes. It is a challenge to keep telling this story in a way that refreshes us to not just what happened but more importantly why it happened. I think the Liverpool Nativity succeeded in reminding us why this story is still relevant:

God intervened in our world not so powerful people could get what they want but so those who are running scared, who have nowhere to stay, who are not welcome, who are living outside the comfort of society, they get a chance to get what they need. In Jesus we all have a small child full of hope. So, at Christmas we tell this story and remember that the baby Jesus was born in very humble circumstances, had a precarious start to life, was an asylum seeker - a refugee. But his birth was the start of new hope for the whole world.

But I wonder who is listening to this story? Do we like to keep Jesus wrapped up in swaddling clothes, a baby saviour is safer than one that grows up, heals people, challenges society and dies a bloody and shameful death as a common criminal. I wonder if some of us like the baby Jesus more than the grown up one?

I have been sent a few other nativity scenes this year. Each reminding us of other aspects of this story and the twenty first century applications.

The Glasgow Nativity














Walled Nativity, distributed by the Amos Trust - A nativity set with a difference - this year the wise men won't get to the stable.

Poignant, ironic and made in Bethlehem.
Apart from a small administration fee takings go to the manufacturers we work with in Bethlehem.










There has been quite a lot of blogging interest in these modern nativities - Cramner takes a political view; The Cartoon Church leaves it to others to have their say; John Davies has a local view; Steve B incorporates his own advent meditations into his response.

I took part in St Peter's carol service yesterday and despite some family irritations (can't be bothered to even raise them again here) we had a lovely Sunday as the family gathered to watch films, eat and chill out. Mark is at the Amnesty bookshop doing his last volunteer of the year, I am in bed, Mum is making angels with Eva and Elise is watching tv. All is well in the Loudon house. Our own imperfect nativity is set.

not getting better quick enough

It is really nearly Christmas and this cold is doing my head in. I am just about coping with chores but after tomorrow Christmas really kicks in and the festivities begin. It is going to be a quiet one with us. Not too many people (which is odd for us as we usually have lots of extras) Mum, me Mark, Eva Elise and Joe for a short while. We are going over to Bath for Boxing day. Then Phil J is coming over on 28th because we are going to a wedding on the 29th, Andy Del might pop over and it would be great if Andrea came for New Year - but it might be a hope too far. I feel a bit cut off this year and this cold isn't helping. Still it Will be out last quiet Christmas as next year I will be on duty!

I am playing guitar at the carol service tomorrow in church at 10am and I still feel a bit rubbish. Tis cold is nasty. I would love a G&T - but I'm a bit worried that my cold is still hanging about - will it make it worse...what the heck a small one during the strictly last show!

last minute Christmas shopping

I am not doing anything.I have a nasty cold and am stuck in bed - done the cards though which is good. But I hate it here already. Elise and Eva have gone to do some last minute shopping and I may have a little sleep though the last time I went off I have horrid dreams and woke up in a sweat (nice!). I have a bunged up nose and a banging head and want to eat all the food in the world.

Anyway, I wonder if you might need a bit of cheering up as well? If you do take a look at the reviews for Bic Crystal ballpoint pen, medium point, black, on amazon. It is a beautiful thing.

new hair

I have had my Christmas haircut and have decided on purple for the rest of Advent and Christmas. I hope you like it.

dancing

there has been a lot of dancing this weekend. I was dancing about on Friday because managed to put 5,000 words in a reasonable order for this essay (Mark is proofing it as I write so I will have some sort of idea about what more has to be done with it by lunch-time. I have tomorrow to finish it and hand it in by noon tues).

Saturday was Eva's dance class show - she was a reindeer - it all went off well though to be honest I was quite stressed as I was torn between the dance show/party and the church Christmas open day/fair. They were both happening at the same time and the church and community centre are next door to each other so I was popping in and out of both until the dance thing stopped. The tension between the two groups was a bit stressful as well. I got a lovely chocolate cake and some marmalade though and I had a hand massage which was lovely.

In the evening I went to the Trinity college Christmas review. I was impressed with the array of talent and humorous self reflection. I genuinely had a big laugh. Our group did a rendition of Baby got Book which didn't go exactly as planned but was OK (only just) though John Bimson was star of our act. I did have a few sherbets so was having a great time. I loved the cheesy disco afterwards and had a great dance with Geoff which made my night.

Strictly is hotting up - really can't call who is going through but I think Gethin might win. Phil H has a great strictly statistics site which is most useful for updates. I will be glued to the box later for the results and the last Cranford. I will probably pop round to Laura and Paul's for there Christmas do though that's really up to Eva as Mark is off to Stroud to watch the footy so she and I will be doing our own thing.

when spooks and essays collide

I have been having the maddest dreams and I can only assume it is as a result of the stuff I am putting in my head at the moment. I am writing an essay on the centrality of the cross in Pauline theology referring specifically to Galatians and 1 Corinthians (5,000 words). On Tuesday I watched Spooks, which is getting more improbable by the week and is not very well written and just must come to a crashing end soon. Anyway, when these two things collided in my dreams they created a mad dream drama about how I might be able to stop the crucifixion of Christ. If only I knew how to make it stop I could save Christ and the world and ensure things were put back in order. Then I could walk away unnoticed - returning to an ordinary life. Of course that is not how the story ends so after what seemed like hours of chasing about the Middle East I eventually failed, Jesus was crucified and the rest, as they say, is history. Not only did I have to suffer the pain of failure I also had to go through in dream-scape the whole agonizing experience of watching Jesus die (in real time) and the full flow of emotion that this threw up. I woke up scared, confused and very sad.

Last night wasn't much better but this time I had to explain to the Jewish nation what 'covenantal nomism' is. I am not sure it really my performance impressed them.

I tell you I will be very pleased when I get this essay out of my head. I got this weeks copy of Heat magazine to read just before I go to bed - so tonight's dreams could be very interesting!

Help Amnesty stop UK government attempts to lock people up for six weeks without charge!

Amnesty International needs your support for a new campaign called - Not a Day Longer – to stop the government extending pre-charge detention limits yet further and undermining basic human rights.

We’re asking people to sign an e-petition on the Number 10 website stating their opposition, which 600 have signed up to already (and it only went up on Friday).

Sunny Hundal’s leading the bloggers’ charge over at Liberal Conspiracy – the campaign page is here - while Frank Dobson is reportedly doing the same in parliament.

The UK government seems determined to give the Home Secretary the draconian power to lock people up for 42 days – that’s six weeks – without even charging them. Given that the current limit of 28 days pre-charge detention for terrorism suspects is already longer than in any other common law country and is an unacceptable ‘special measure’ that has to be renewed by parliament every year, this new attempt is outrageous.


1. UNDERMINES one of our most basic rights, enshrined in UK law as far back as Magna Carta and now at the heart of the European Convention on Human Rights, to which UK is a signatory: the right for anyone who is detained by the state to be told promptly why they are being held and what they are charged with.

2. COMMUNITY relations will suffer if the Muslim community appears to be particularly targeted for prolonged pre-charge detention. This could have an impact on intelligence gathering and policing, and could undermine positive efforts to engage with Muslims in the UK.

3. IMPACT on any individuals detained for such a long time – in terms of their job, family, house, friendships and relationships within their community – would be devastating.

4. QUESTIONED widely by experts – Lord Goldsmith (former Attorney General), Stella Rimington (former MI5 Chief), Sir Ken Macdonald (Director of Public Prosecutions and head of the Crown Prosecution Service) and parliament’s Joint Committee on Human Rights.

5. UNDERMINES presumption of innocence –Two months in prison is roughly equivalent to the length of time someone might serve in prison for assault. Lengthy pre-charge detention would impose what is in effect a ‘sentence’ of two months on somebody who may never be charged with any crime.

6. UK ALREADY has by far the longest pre-charge detention period for offences related to terrorism of any common law state.

7. INTERNATIONAL STANDING – it is much harder for the UK to criticise the human rights records of other countries that lock people up without charge when we are doing so at home. This measure would give other countries a ‘green light’ to curtail civil liberties.

8. HISTORY – from Northern Ireland and Amnesty’s experience all over the world - shows that locking people up without charge doesn’t work.

9. STATEMENTS obtained from suspects could be deemed inadmissible at trial if detention conditions are considered to be unduly harsh.

10. SAFEGUARDS discussed are insufficient – the kind of judicial oversight proposed is in no way the same as charging someone and giving them the chance to defend themselves in a fair trial.

This is a pressing issue - the Home Affairs Select Committe were quizzing Jacqui Smith about it today, politicians are discussing it now and the vote will be early next year. I hope you can help us ensure that this measure doesn't get through.

generating kindness

My sermon went ok today - not as fluid as I had hoped but nevertheless it was fine. People were very kind to me and as I had asked 5 people to give me feedback they said some nice things and some useful things which I am most grateful for.


As I mentioned yesterday I gave each member of the congregation a red advent star with a verse from Romans on it. At the end of my sermon I encouraged them to write the name of someone who they felt needed God's hope and asked them to pray for this person during the rest of advent. I then read out the verse as a blessing. It was a simple thing but it seemed to resonate for a number of the older people who spoke to me after the service about how it had moved them and how they now felt they would be able to focus their prayers for hope. One lady, who has recently suffered the bereavement of a close family member, told me that she had put up her tree which she said 'nobody would see', and she hadn't got a star to put on the top. She was so pleased that now she had! Something so fragile and small as a red paper star had offered a bit of advent hope to her. Anyway, someone will see her tree because I hope to go to her house for a cup of tea sometime this week.

If you are up for generating kindness then do take a look at the re:jesus blog as we are discussing inventive ways to be kind at Christmas.

home alone

I took Mark and Eva to the airport at 7am this morning. It was very early to be out and about on a Saturday but I made the most of it. I was in Sainsbury's getting Christmas bits and bobs by 7.30, in town by 9am getting red paper for printing stars for my sermon tomorrow and trying to buy a copy of Dunn's 1 Corinthians which neither SPCK or Wesley Owen had in stock. I ended up in the Trinity Library at 9.30am stressed out because the books I needed were not there but they hadn't been signed out so I have no idea who to ask if I can borrow them when they're done. So, I don't know what I will do about the reading. I guess I will have to make do with 1 commentary and a few general texts.

Anyway, I finished off my sermon and cut out star shapes for each member of the congregation to take away fr Advent with a vrse from Romans:
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15.13

which took me longer than had expected. So, after eating lunch, having a little sleep (well I was up very early) and reading for a bit it was time to watch strictly and Robin Hood. I went to Liz and Phil's which was great because the actually like these programmes - unlike Mark who huffs and puffs his way through Saturday night TV.

I am just doing a bit of blogging then off to bed for an early night because I have to be up early to preach tomorrow. It is odd not having Mark and Eva here. It's very quiet, tidy and empty.

long week

It has been a long week and I have finally run out of steam. However, I slept in this morning and didn't get to college which meant that I feel a bit better (guilty but better). I have been tidying the house and have moved on to planning my work for reading week. I have a sermon to prepare for Sunday - if you want to come and hear me preach I will be at St Peter's Church, Lawrence Western at 10am! I also have a 5,000 word essay for Galatians and 1 Corinthians to write which I am not feeling great about. I have done some reading and some vague planning but it is not coming together at all. This is an MA module and the essay will be marked at this standard - somehow my MA in Popular Music Studies and my PhD research into music hall has not prepared me well for the rigors of theology at this level. I have the academic skills but the minutiae of the discipline of Theology is very tricky for a dyslexic brain. I am good with ideas and concepts but not great with detail. Hey ho. I am sure I will find a way through it but at the moment it feels just a little bit intimidating.

I am loving my new macbook. How good it feels to be typing fast and uploading stuff. The only thing is that I can't find a way to change the colour screen for word for mac. I like blue background and black type but it can only seem to do normal or blue with white type. If anyone knows how to sort this please let me know.

Mark and Eva are off to Belfast tis weekend and Elise has gone to Liverpool so I am home alone. Shame I won't have Mark to listen to my sermon. Never mind I have a lifetime of sermons to preach so I am sure he will have a chance sometime. I am going to press on with my essay reading and try to have a rest. Reading week next week will give me a chance to catch up on work and I might even get to do the Christmas cards. I have better go now and do some more work on my sermon.

Taize style worship

Mark came into chapel this morning and took some pictures just before the worship began. This gives a visual flavour of the service.

10.55

This is what time it is. I have led chapel and had a bit of a panic and I am now writing a sermon. This morning's worship Taize style went very well. I think I find the monastic style of worship help me to focus on God and reach out beyond my feelings, physicality and move from my own ideas and projections. Even when I was leading today I found myself being taken into the chants and praising God as well as reaching out to God's mercy. I also felt empowered not overwhelmed by the burdens of the world - sometimes I leave prayers for the world exhausted and overwhelmed. But today I came away feeling like my small steps, my little efforts, my whispered prayers can add to the groundswell against injustice; they might contribute to the sound of fury against oppression; they might reach out into peace. When I am tired, when I feel I have nothing else to give, God steps into that mess and doesn't magically make it disappear but opens up a gap in the darkness for a spec of light to shine in - I can choose to close my eyes and ignore that hope or I can slowly pick at the corners and open it out. So, I am going to spend the day picking at the darkness to see how much light I can let in.

monday

My worship group is leading chapel again this week - this week we are doing Taize style worship. This involves (amongst other things) lighting lots of candles, wearing cassock albs, chanting and extended periods of silence. As there were lots of candles to light I got into chapel for 8am this morning - just as well because the person who was doing intercessions was ill so I had to cover for him, also the laptop and projector didn't turn up. So we improvised our way through and it all seemed to go ok - thanks to the music group and the common worship prayer book.

I was a bit brain dead after it was over though and the prospect of trying to read for my essay or prepare my sermon filled me with horror. So for some reason I decided to go to cribs to finally buy my new macbook. Having received some very generous financial assistance I was able to go to John Lewis and buy one of the peg. It was quite satisfying - if not a bit scary. After nearly a year of saving I now have a new toy to play with. So here I am playing with it now and trying to set up all my systems (the email configuration is taking a while becuase we seem to have lost all the information).

Tonight is Eva's talent show at brownies so there's that to look forward to (not). What a terrible mum I am not wanting to sit through a brownie talent show. I am not sure what Eva is doing - it was a recorder act but due to some mix up with music that changed last week so I have no idea what she is planning to do now. I will let you know. Anyway, for some reason Elise has started to put up the Christmas tree and it has set off a chain reaction of shouting and furniture removal. I have to go....

rested

Today is a rest day. I am just getting started having had breakfast in bed and read the church times and a book about medical ethics. Mark and I also had a long talk about stuff - family, curacy, Christmas, being ill, houses, money. It is amazing how much there is to talk about. So many things going on in out poor little heads. I spend quite a lot of time praying but forget to talk to my husband - In ironic twist of circumstances that needs some attention. So, we are going to spend the day listening to music, visiting friends and resting. Together.