a week

It has been a whole week since I last blogged and so much has happened...I can't even begin to start on the mad business of the week, the juggling I have done is week is exemplary and the mere fact that I have managed to get through without decking someone should been seen as a feat in itself.

Probably the main reason I have survived is that Becky has been here looking after Eva and keeping an eye on me - PhD fever has been quite bad and having someone to remind me that I am fine has been very useful. Also, Becky being about has helped me to keep up my parish commitments...of which there have been a few this week.

Anyway, I wish I could write more but I really must get on with preparing my latest thesis draft which is going to my favourite proof reader tomorrow...

pop crisis

I am having a pop crisis! The king of pop is dead and her 'mag'esty (madonna) has seriously lost the plot. I went to see Madonna last night at the MEN and it was a fright...she went on very late then she mimed her way effortlessly through the first section of the concert. She danced like a 12 year old (and dressing like one!), she even tried to fool us with costume changes and at one point we were supposed to believe it was her singing under a full cape whilst sat on a grand piano (I am pretty sure it was a body double whilst she put her feet up in the dressing room drinking pop). The most grotesque spectacle was the unpleasant display of wealth and bizarre obsession with showing us her pants. Though there was a pretty good middle section where she seemed to have joined the fair and became incorporated into a Hispanic gypsy family even this was marred by slightly a preoccupation with death and the 'cult of the child'. Madonna needs to spend some quality time coming to terms with her shift from youth to middle age, enjoy being an older woman and not see herself as having to prove herself as a sexual being...there is so much more to her than this but at the moment her pain at the loss of youth is unnerving and slightly disarming. As an audience member it makes for uncomfortable viewing (and not in a useful challenging way). Because she started so late we missed most of the last section - because we had to catch the last train home - which if she went on to demonstrate that she was in a transition and was seeking a new phase in life would have been encouraging - but I suspect it went on to be more of a cry for help!

I don't want to walk away from pop. I want to see something useful, challenging, musically inspiring in the mainstream but at the moment I am really struggling to find anything in the charts that makes me want to celebrate life. I know Philly J will help me through this crisis...but I have seriously hit a musical wall. We need Cathy Dennis to write a great pop song NOW!

Bridget and Liz H

Liz H has had a little boy - Tobias. He was born in the early hours of the morning. I am so made up because that means I get to see him before we leave. I am so excited for Phil and Liz that they have a little boy, they are coming out of the hospital later tonight and tomorrow Bridget and I will go and visit the brood.

I have had a great day - after my feeling strange day yesterday I am relieved that I managed to turn some of the negativity around (see as the classic Sunday school songs says - "a little talk with Jesus makes it right all right") I problem shared with God is not much of a problem after all. Not to say that the anxiety has magically disappeared but just when I needed to feel like I had a friend I got a great morning shopping, chatting and eating cake with Bridget. I know we left it a bit late to get to be good friends but I love Bridget and she is great.

I am going to miss both Liz and Bridget a great deal when I move. The risk of being good friends with anyone is that you will miss them when they aren't about any more. Love is a crazy thing isn't it: Love only works if you take the risk and that is what makes it hurt when it goes. Not that Liz, Bridget and I will not love each other anymore just that not being in the everyday of each other's lives will mean that we have to renegotiate our relationships. So, that hurts a bit. But I have to say it has been worth it.

all done

The exam is done and I am now free! The stress of this has been building for so long it feels very strange to be free of it. I can't really discuss how I did and I am finding it difficult to process the whole thing (I shall never speak of the exam again!). I now have a nasty headache and a lot of nervous energy. However, I have got a new haircut (I got a lovely head massage and sat in the massage chair for quite sometime which was great) and I also have collected my special linen black ordination trousers which were specially made for me. So, all is well.

I am sitting in front of the telly, awaiting a plate of chicken curry and a glass of white wine (it will be just a glass as I have a busy day tomorrow and my new boss is coming to stay - he arrives very late this evening). I have a few post-Trinity leavers chores to do and seeing as Liz H has gone into hospital (perhaps a baby might come out in the next 24hrs?) I have a few more bits and bobs to do than I had expected. It would be so great if she gives birth soon because I ould love to see the baby before I leave. I am actually very very excited about the prospect of a small Hassall child.

So, the next few days will be quite busy with meetings and parties. A wonderful combination - and quite typical of the Church of England. I will keep you posted.

Dr Eisenbarth Wanderbuhn

A little while ago I put up a video on youtube of Mark and I's exploits at the circus with Dr Eisenbarth. The problem was that the video was too long and the quality had ended up being very pixilated. So, we have uploaded it again but this time it is 2 parts. Please remember that I shot this with super8 film so it has a strange quality anyway. It was only 10years ago but it feels like a lifetime away.

Part One


Part Two

not long till Eurovision

This year is going to be a bit of a rough eurovision for me - I will be all alone! Mark is off to Liverpool, Eva is at Brownie camp and Philly J is in Belgrade watching it live! I have to be up early to lead the Sunday service at St Peter's so I can't be 'having it large' so I think it will be a small glass of white wine and some peanuts.



Phil Jackson at the Eurovision semi-final dress rehearsal last night (taken from his world famous blog)


If you want to know first hand, from the horses mouth, all the eurovision gossip as it happens then crawl over to Phil 'I cheated death' Jackson's 2008 Eurovision blogsite. It really is genius.

top hat

here is a picture of me in my new top hat.

I have had a great day today. Not least because I have a great debate with Jonathan Swales about all kinds of things but which started with the equality of people and gender difference. I also participated in a great seminar about infant baptism. Added to this edifying conversation we had 'all day breakfast' for lunch, which really was a treat.

This evening we have the pleasure of welcoming Lee and Mary Barnes and Tom Donaghy to Loudon Bristol HQ for a spot of dinner. Mark has a fantastic menu planned. Before they arrive I have to do some reading and try to find places for all the stupid things I have been buying on ebay and additional furniture for the new house which doesn't have a proper place in this house.

And, all is well because I have a new top hat!!!

croquet

Today was the first time have played croquet this summer and it was very enjoyable. Having said that, this year our pastoral group has a very good croquet player so I wasn't able to slaughter them in the same way as I did last year. Actually I was so out of practice I didn't do as well as I had hoped. Hey ho. It was very nice to be out in the sun and be doing something rather than chatting (we are very good at chatting and in our pastoral group - not so good at doing). I have found the pastoral group very supportive and rewarding this year. We may not have been as dynamic as last year but we have been able to listen to each other, attend to our group and personal needs and just hang out together. Talking about God in this group has been great and we have such different perspectives on life that this has fed into our time together and added a richness to discussion. So, as I come to the last 3 weeks of term and my time at college as I think of the pastoral groups I have been in I feel very fortunate and blessed.

finance

Today we had a visit from the clergy finance people to talk about stipends, housing and pensions. I am just starting and already thinking about my retirement (in 25years time!). I have to say it is a very scary thing for me to think about money but I guess I need to have a bit of think about it. We will be in dire straits if we don't plan ahead but Mark has decided that he is going to make lots of money and all will be well. I am hoping this is true but I might just seek some professional help just in case.

It is a very hot day and I am not getting very far with my revision. I have spent the last 20mins or so trying to bid on a top hat on ebay. I want one for 'events' - I really wish I had had one for Julian and Andrew's do (see pic above and for a load more pictures see Mark's Picasa site). Anyway, after many days trying I now have a 1930's silk top hat (for £20). Oh joy.

I am off to a Brownie meeting with Eva in a short while and Becky's over for tea so best get on.

prison

I am just back from Bristol prison and all that sleeping yesterday seems such a long way away. I was up early and now I am in need of a further rest and food (I think there's a bit of last night's takeaway to eat). Mark and Eva are doing a it of work on the garden and I am trying to bid on a top hat on ebay. Life's hard isn't it!

I am hoping that we will get out to see Steve and Moira's exhibition on the Bristol Arts trail later. But we also have Elise and her granny coming over for dinner. So, it's all go here. Anyway, it is a lovely day and I need some lunch so I'm off to sit in the garden.

eurovision countdown

Eurovision is next week and Philly J has started the countdown (he actually started a few days ago but I have been a bit lax and not let you know). If you have even a passing interest in Eurovision then Phil is your man. What he doesn't know isn't worth knowing. He will keep you posted about the runners and leaders. What's more he will be in attendance this year and will be blogging from Belgrade, with live streaming from the event.

I am at college - my aim for the day is to plan my revision for this exam. I have a pile of books, a load of past papers and a good idea of my interests. I also could do with a bit of a rest. My head is a bit full. I need a cup of tea.

We are off to Bruce and Sara's for dinner tonight. I am very much looking forward to the foodolution.

in college

I am here. It seems like an age since I was at my desk. Having had a proper blow out and being reunited with my Liverpool friends means that I am starting to reintegrate into my Liverpool community. I also was reminded about how supportive you have been of mine and Mark's change of circumstances. It never ceases to amaze me how great you, my friends, have been about me becoming a vicar. Even though it may not be your chosen religion or your lifestyle choice I am encouraged by your support and love for us. The many conversations I had over the weekend reinforced that sense of being surrounded by people who see this as an important thing to do. For that I am immensely grateful.

So, here I am reading about Anglicanism and dolly daydreaming about being in a field in Shropshire surrounded by lovely people, a glass of something cool and bubbly in my hand (and a megaphone in the other) having a laugh. I must focus. I have an exam to prepare for! By the way - Mark's photos are great and I will send a link to them asap.

not fallen off the edge of the world

I am just checking in really. I haven't got much energy left so I am not going to post too much now, this is just a quick note to let you know that we got back from Shropshire ok. We had a great time. It was a real treat to spend time with everyone and have a great party time. Julian and Andrew were fantastic. They looked great, had arranged a fab day and were the hosts with the most. I really did let my hair down and just relaxed. Feels like the wind has been blown out of my sails. I have to go to sleep now because I am so tired but I will put some photos up soon and let you know some more details later.

Dr Eisenbarth Wanderbuhn

I may have told you that 10years ago - just before we got married - Mark and I ran away to the circus for the summer, the Swiss Circus! Well, Just horse drawn carts, a fantastic show and our own caravan (of love). I finally got my cinefilm transfered to DVD and have loaded it up onto youtube. I am afraid the quality isn't great but it does give some of the flavour of the adventure. Look out for my favourite horse Rex - I loved him.



In other news: Mark's sister Ema have had a baby, a boy baby! So congratulations to Stephen and Ema. And Dylan and Anna have had a baby girl - so well done you lot too. There are babies everywhere!

We are off to Jilian and Andrew's wedding in a short while. So, there may be blogging silence for a few days.

dodgy tummy on Ascension Day

Miniature from Rabbula Gospels
(Mesopotamia, 6th century)





I have a bit of a weird tummy bug thing that seems to also make my head ache. I am trying to keep eating (one of my main objectives in life is to maintain a steady flow of food) but really I have lost heart for it. Anyway, I have been keeping on doing the stuff I need to do but tonight I feel rubbish. Which is a shame because this weekend is Julian and Andrews wedding and I have been looking forward to it for ages and ages and ages. Mark and Eva are camping in a field in Shropshire Elise and I are staying in a B&B. Oh joy. Perhaps if I eat only a boiled egg for tea I will feel ok tomorrow? I do hope so.

This week has been very busy. Tuesday night we had the fantastic Broadway's over for supper. What great company they are! If I could take them with us to Liverpool that would be great. But I think they have a life they are enjoying down here so I will have to deal with that!

Wednesday was a college day full of spirituality, meetings and chatting about curacies and stuff. I got an early night because we had Ascension Day communion at 8am - which meant leaving home at 7.40am. Too early to praise the Lord even if it is the day he went up to heaven. I did have quite a good go at being joyful though it was quite a challenge by 11am having had 2 hours if lectures and waiting for a seminar on the sacraments. The best thing that happened today was getting the fantastic clerical shirt that Amanda Judge has handmade for me. It is black and made of lovely linen. I am so pleased with it. Just need some trousers now and I will be set for ordination clothes. I also had my hair cut - there is no blue left, just my natural mouse brown hair!

Well I had better go and sort out tea for Mark and boil my egg!

weekend

Having a rubbish weekend last time it is only fair that this one was a blinder. Friday night I polished off a bottle of white wine that was sitting about and watched some bits and bobs of catch-up tv. Not that there's much to catch-up at the moment - I am enjoying the medieval stuff on BBC4 but a lot of it is very ponderous and poncy, some of it good and much of it less informative than it pretends to be. Anyway, I caught up and crashed out - I was very very tired (it has been a bit of a week).

Saturday was great - we had Liz H's baby shower at ours. I am not sure that it was a conventional baby shower as it was more like a relaxing tea party in the garden with scones, tea, cucumber sandwiches and more cake than can be imagined - pictures to follow! It was lovely having people round, chilling out, telling stories and having a laugh. can't believe that come August both Liz and Elise will have small babies! Wow. What an amazing thing that is!

We are still eating cake today...I had some for breakfast (is that wrong, especially on a Sunday!?). A baptism at church - which was lovely. Actually the whole service was cracking. St Peter's is really coming alive for me again - I can't analyse that at the moment so I will have to get back to it at some point. Anyway, we went to the Wheelers for lunch which was a real treat. Fab food including a very nice pudding (chocolate fudge cake with raspberries - yum yum) a great tour of their new house - which is pretty impressive - on 3 levels including 3 toilets and a chapel! What more could you ask for? They have kindly lent us their roof box for Andrew and Julian's wedding so we will be able to get the tent in the car - phew!

After Eva went to bed Mark and I watched the first series of Gavin and Stacey and ate a rather appropriate omelette (cheese and ham). Perfect end to a lovely weekend.

- I have just realised that this is a rather food driven post (hey ho)!

there's a big mouse working at the anglican cathedral Liverpool

...and it's name is Claire



Be afraid, be very afraid.

world turned upside down

Last night Mark, Bob, Sue and I went to see Billy Bragg. Reminded that I met Bob and Sue at a Billy Bragg gig 13 years ago - a benefit to safe the Picket, Liverpool (seems like we've been trying to save the Picket ever since!)... and that at another Billy Bragg gig in the same year I also re-met Mark. So, Billy Bragg has been an important catalyst in the making of our friendships. Anyway, we've all got a bit older and I am not sure how much wiser but we definitely still share the same desire to see the world turned upside down. Perhaps each of us has our own (different) reasons for sharing such a vision but it remains a significant topic of our conversations and a business of our endeavors. In my case I remain convinced that poverty and injustice prevent people from hearing the good news of the kingdom of God and that as the people of God we have an obligation to fight injustice at every level wherever we encounter it. This week we have been meditating on The Jesus Manifesto - a vision of the world changed forever (Matthew 5; Acts 17:1-9). Jesus' vision for the world turned upside down was one of the meek and the poor being inheritors and the the peacemakers being called children of God. The first will be last and the last will be first.

Anyway, I post this clip of Billy Bragg - his "World Turned Upside Down". A story of what happens when the dispossessed proclaim what is theirs.

back home from Virginia Water

I decided not to stay for too long. My mum was very tired and I think she needed to be on her own having had Eva for 4 days. I am glad that I came back though. It means I can spend the last day of the holiday with Eva on my own and do a few more bits and bobs here. I am so tired now. You wouldn't think driving to Virginia Water, dodging the posh people in the massive cars and eating would be so tiring.

I went to see an old friend this morning - Enid. She is in her late 80's and had just had a new knee fitted. Enid was the first person to mention ordination to me when I was 17years old (all those years ago!). She had a real vision for my ministry and has been a great influence on me and the formation of my faith. She is a straight talking, intelligent, visionary person (she needed vision to see me as a vicar when I was 17years old!). She sees the positive in difficult situations and has been so faithful in her ministry as a reader at Christ Church, Virginia Water. She and her friend Ann work very hard for the church - making pastoral visits, taking funerals, leading services at the Methodist church (which is affiliated to the Anglican church). They are tireless witnesses to the gospel.

I love to spend time with Enid and listen to what she and Ann have been doing in the church and in their other roles. Enid used to be an inspector for Anglican training colleges and knows Trinity well. She has also sat on various boards of training colleges and has a sense of what training for ministry is like as well as what the job entails after training. It is a privilege to spend time with them and I take great encouragement from their interest in me, the family and my ministry. I felt very proud to tell them about my curacy and even though it seems unlikely that they will make my ordination, due to Enid's poor health, I know I will be in their prayers.

If you get a moment and could spare a prayer for an old friend of mine with a poorly knee and problems with deer who eat her flowers then please do.

back in Bristol

So, here I am back in Bristol again. Having had a very profitable time researching but not really seen anyone except Barry and Andrea. It took me ages to get home but I guess that's what happens when you nationalize a rail service. The thing that did my head in most was that I tried to leave my luggage in left luggage at Lime Street Station, in order to do a bit of shopping, but I changed my mind when I realised it would cost me £12 - what are they thinking of? I mean why would you charge £12 for left luggage? It is mad! and this is the Capital of Culture...more like "capital of rip you off". So rather than stay around for an extra few hours I got an earlier train and got back here by tea time. Miss Liverpool already though. Hey ho.

Not much on for the next couple of days. Going to spend some time with Eva - see a film, do some light shopping, have tea and cake out, do some visiting etc etc. Normal mother and daughter stuff. I'll keep you posted.