art

I am very grateful to Gaby Malcolm for this fantastic piece of art which she so kindly gave to me as an ordination present. It is currently exhibited in my office on top of the filing cabinet.

Lillie's baptism

Lillie (my step-granddaughter) was baptized today...and I baptized her! What an amazing privilege. I had been looking forward to baptizing someone ever since we sat up in James Steven's office at Trinity college and had a hearty conversation about the pros and cons of infant baptism (obviously my baptist brothers and sisters have a different perspective on the practice and the theological college seminar debate was 'full and hearty' as a result!). At that point I had no idea my first baptism would be of a member of my family. So, there you go...

So, we have been feeding hoards of people since mid-day and now they are moving on to more food and the wine has come out...I have 2 more services to take so I am sitting in my office. As my office is the quietest place in the house Lillie is in here with me asleep in her pram - so the new Christian and I are spending some down time chilling in the curate's office.

Anyway, I have 2 services to put the finishing touches to so I'd best get off...

Dream - Guerrilla Worship - Crosby beach

The video (me at Eva at 1.54):

Guerrilla Worship - Crosby Beach Labyrinth

Mid-day prayers were very blowy today as I popped over to Crosby Beach to walk the Dream prayer Labyrinth. The wind was ferocious but I put my hood up and walked and prayed - actually the wind helped me focus and blocked out pretty much all other sound as I stepped gently round the Labyrinth. A much needed blowing out of the cobwebs! So, thanks Dream.

Mark and Eva fancied fish and chips (I had chips and steak and kidney pudding). Then off to St Margaret's church summer fair...which interestingly seemed to have attracted most of my congregation (we are neighbouring parishes so this is to be expected). So, I sat and chatted to people, spent money on bits and bobs that you can only buy at summer fairs (???!!!) and Eva won the big raffle prize - so we are all happy!

I have preparation for tomorrow's morning service (though no sermon to write) so I am at my desk doing stuff. And I feel really quite tired.

I have a surprisingly large amount of sand in my hair...

penguins

Not sure how I feel about this...super lamb bananas were bad enough but penguins might push us over the edge. Anyway, this is the press release for the penguin invasion of the city planned for the autumn/winter:

More than 100 six-foot birds will decorate the city centre in a public art event set to rival last year’s popular Go Superlambananas trail.

From mid-November, small groups of penguins will be on display for seven weeks in an effort to attract visitors and spread an eco-friendly message.

Artists are being invited to enter designs for the fibreglass penguins, with the winners chosen by businesses sponsoring the event for £3,000 a piece.

More than 50 schools have already signed up to adopt and decorate a 3ft penguin for £450 each.

They will be displayed in a city centre indoor venue and will be returned to the schools once the trail has finished.

Commissioned by Culture Liverpool, the event is being organised by Wild In Art, the team behind last year’s successful Go Superlambananas.

It is based around a story, written by former Culture Company vice-chairman Phil Redmond, in which a penguin called Patrick is rescued from the ocean by HMS Liverpool.

He said: “Penguins are cute and funny, and everywhere in popular culture.”

Designer Chris Wilkinson, who came up with the basic penguin shape in clay, said: “In the story, the penguins are from the Falklands, where there is a large range of different species, but we wanted these to be generic penguins.

“They are brought to Liverpool to see Patrick with the help of the Liver Birds. We wanted them to look young because Patrick is a teenager.”

Patrick, a rockhopper penguin with distinctive yellow eyebrows, will make his debut as a cartoon character before he is revealed to the public.

The initiative is a highlight of A Winter’s Trail, which runs from November to January

It will see a series of special penguin-themed events take place across the city, with the support of many of Liverpool’s cultural organisations.

Liverpool Council leader Warren Bradley said: “The Superlambananas were the icons of Capital of Culture and we hope Go Penguins will similarly capture the hearts and imaginations of everyone across the region this Christmas.

“Last year showed how cultural events can make a huge impact on the tourism economy.

“I am excited about the plans for the penguins. Everyone is pulling together to create a magical Christmas which will further cement Liverpool’s creative reputation and appeal to visitors.’’

The recyclable Go Penguins, produced by a firm in Kent, were inspired by Liverpool’s Year of the Environment.

The festive trail aims to raise awareness of climate change by reflecting on the melting of the ice caps in Antarctica.

Merchandising opportunities are also being looked at, with miniature versions of the penguins to go on sale later this year.

The deadline for artists’ designs is the end of August.

FURTHER details can be found at GO-PENGUINS.

hope not hate

If you blink you'll miss me but I am in this video just after Billy Bragg has spoken!




Do please join the Hope Not Hate campaign against the BNP.

pop crisis

I am having a pop crisis! The king of pop is dead and her 'mag'esty (madonna) has seriously lost the plot. I went to see Madonna last night at the MEN and it was a fright...she went on very late then she mimed her way effortlessly through the first section of the concert. She danced like a 12 year old (and dressing like one!), she even tried to fool us with costume changes and at one point we were supposed to believe it was her singing under a full cape whilst sat on a grand piano (I am pretty sure it was a body double whilst she put her feet up in the dressing room drinking pop). The most grotesque spectacle was the unpleasant display of wealth and bizarre obsession with showing us her pants. Though there was a pretty good middle section where she seemed to have joined the fair and became incorporated into a Hispanic gypsy family even this was marred by slightly a preoccupation with death and the 'cult of the child'. Madonna needs to spend some quality time coming to terms with her shift from youth to middle age, enjoy being an older woman and not see herself as having to prove herself as a sexual being...there is so much more to her than this but at the moment her pain at the loss of youth is unnerving and slightly disarming. As an audience member it makes for uncomfortable viewing (and not in a useful challenging way). Because she started so late we missed most of the last section - because we had to catch the last train home - which if she went on to demonstrate that she was in a transition and was seeking a new phase in life would have been encouraging - but I suspect it went on to be more of a cry for help!

I don't want to walk away from pop. I want to see something useful, challenging, musically inspiring in the mainstream but at the moment I am really struggling to find anything in the charts that makes me want to celebrate life. I know Philly J will help me through this crisis...but I have seriously hit a musical wall. We need Cathy Dennis to write a great pop song NOW!

back blogging

This was the very moment of priestly ordination (a highly illegal photograph taken by my lovely husband)


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, it is good to be back...back here on my first web-blog (having left Diakonia behind - the website that is because 'once a deacon always a deacon!') and also back after a number of adventures.

So much has happened in the last few weeks, so here is a quick run down:

- I was ordained priest a few weeks back - which was an amazing event. I was far more relaxed than last year and felt a lot more confident about my place in the process this year. The diaconate year is so important in terms of getting my head round all the changes in my life and directing myself toward my new ministry. It was far from ordinary but it certainly prepared me for the shift to the priesthood.

- I presided at my first communion(s) - because I serve at two churches I got to do this twice! It is difficult to describe the remarkable privilege of presiding I was quite overwhelmed by the whole thing. I was very stressed about it and managed to mess up a few bits and bobs but I was drawn into the church community in a whole new way...supported, loved, cherished. Brilliant.

- I have been on clergy conference. I really didn't know what to expect but was actually quite pleasantly surprised by the 3 days of retreat to Swanwick with 300 vicars. We were entertained by Roger McGough and Hugh Dennis, spiritually challenged by Jim Wallis and June Osborne. I also attended a couple of great theological debates led by Ann Morisy and Paula Gooder . It as great to catch up with old friends and meet some new people. I came away feeling challenged and spiritually refreshed (but also a bit tired - too many late nights setting the world to rights).

- I have also been to Spain on holiday to a wonderful villa in the hills outside Malaga - Villa Victoria. It was a real treat to go away somewhere very hot, with a private pool and just sit about soaking in the sun. Spending time with Eva and Mark - just the 3 of us - was a real treat too. We have not had much time together this year and a whole week was great (though it did take some getting used to!). I have managed to become 'off-white' - a nice low level tan - for the first time in years. I also read some great books, ate some fantastic food and spent some time with my cousin Ian who lives in Torremolinos.

- I am now trying to get my head together for a busy week - including going to see Madonna at the MEN tomorrow . We also are off to John and Johanna's wedding on Saturday - which will be an exciting adventure.

So, best go and get on with living the life I blog - I will let you know how I get on with PillyJ at Madonna's egofest tomorrow...

NEW BLOG

I have moved my postings to a new blog! It is called Diakonia. This new blog will only last for my diaconate year. I don't have a plan for content yet but I suspect it will be similar to this one.

thanks for tuning in to this blog over the last couple of years. Hope you can join me in my new virtual world.

I am all revd up!

So, it is all done. I am a reverend, living in vicarage. I got ordained on Sunday having spent 3 glorious days on ordination retreat (ordination retreat was blooming marvelous, met some fantastic people and really had a great start to my new life). Getting ordained was pretty good as well.

This picture is of the people who were on the ordination retreat - 19 people got ordained this week (15 in the cathedral on Sunday and the other 4 in their churches over the week). The picture was taken at Crosby beach - you might be able to make out one of the Crosby iron men wearing a cassock in the background (we know how to have a laugh in the church of England you know...dressing up the public art in clergy garb!). The retreat took place very near by Crosby beach (not that I left the house much) and this picture was taken for the Church Times. I wonder if they'll use it?

The service itself was extremely moving and I found it affirming and empowering, and a bit awe inspiring. I am not sure that living up to that fanfare of a start will be very easy. Hey ho. I also found it very tiring and my bones have been aching ever since (probably the kneeling and special slow holy walking that was done!). Unfortunately I have to go to the mid-week healing service now so can't really tell you much more about the ordination or what's happened since. Well, not just now anyway!

I also have to tell you about my new blog. From now on I will be blogging on here - it is called diakonia and will track my year as a Church of England Deacon. I haven't put anything on there yet but I will announce the first posting as soon as it is up. see ya.

B-T-W the man with the yellow spade (bottom right) is David Parry the Diocesan Director of Ordinands! It's a hard job but someone's got to do it...

getting ready for retreat

We have managed to get the house sorted for the visitors expected for ordination weekend. The family are travelling from far and wide to be here - no pressure then! The beds are all made up and I have planned menus for most of the days I am away (cake baking begins in earnest tomorrow). The rehearsal is on Wednesday and the retreat starts on thurs evening. In preparation for the weekend I have been sleeping as much as possible, catching up with friends, seeing the new stuff that has been built in Liverpool since I was last here (e.g. the Liverpool One shopping centre, the urban design centre, the echo arena) and reading a Surprised by Hope by Tom Wright. I a afraid I am not being all that holy. I'm not being not holy but I thought I might find myself being more holy this week but there are still shelves to put up, trips to the dump to do etc. Finding heaven in these ordinary things has been a challenge but God has been there in it all! I realised this when I was at Christ Church yesterday (my sending church and the place where all this 'being a vicar' stuff began). I looked up at the stained glass window from the pew I always sit in and remembered the day that I felt that calling for the first time (I was breast feeding Eva at the time and about to hand her on to someone else to hold her because I had to play the guitar), I had jut been declared bankrupt, had not long been married, was living in a hippie commune and struggling with my faith in a way that I had never experienced before. In the past my faith was a theory, at that time I was clinging on to it for grim death and was living it so tightly I could hardly hold on.

But, during the process of bankruptcy I had for the first time accepted that I was forgiven and that God loved me more than I would ever know or feel - it was an assurance of love that was so deep that I didn't even need to feel it. And as I sat there that day it felt like I could give myself back to God - give up hanging on to my life and it occurred to me that I could be a priest, that I could serve God in a way that was public and transparent. That I could also serve the church (the fragile church that I have had so much beef with over the years!)...and that was it. I made a commitment to God then to pursue that calling and haven't ever felt any differently about it since. That is where it started! Now I am about to make that commitment in front of everyone else and start my new job. So, this week I am trying to be ordinary, getting on with the stuff of life, but just remembering the journey from there to here .

new house

Well, we are in Liverpool and are starting to get settled. It has been ages since I have blogged or even gone on-line. The problem is that thee is no internet connection here - the only way to get on-line is to piggieback on someone else's connection or go to an internet cafe! Both have their own problems neither are effective really and I have very little time at the moment to sort it all out. Anyway, enough of all that - Liverpool is great, the house is getting great and once we have things under control (as much control is possible in the circumstances) I am sure I will feel a bit better. This in between stage of not being student any more and not starting my new job is quite odd.

I would love to blog about this more but unfortunately my time has run out. I will be on-line properly sometime next week and I hope to get some more time before then to check email etc. If you are trying to contact me then the best way is to phone my mobile or leave a comment here or email (as long as you can wait) and I will get to it asap.

valedictory 2008 - pictures

This is a lovely picture of Elise, Eva and I with Bishop Roger Sainsbury and his wife Jenny at yesterday's valedictory service.

I no time to blog! Here are some more pictures of the valedictory on Marks Picassa site

last day with my Trinity friends

So, today was the last time together here at Trinity. The valedictory service went off ok...no tears, only a small fight with Mark at the start and a last chance to say goodbye to people. My head is so full of moving that I was hardly able to take it all in. But it is all done now.


The house is now in complete chaos and it sounds like our new house is a bit chaotic too. The carpets can't get cleaned until the day we actually move in so I have a feeling that the carpet cleaner and the removal people are going to meet on the stairs. hey ho.

Mark has nearly finished cleaning the cooker and there is only Eva's room to sort and the outhouses to clear. So, we are on target. I can't remember it being this last minute when we left Liverpool.

Right I am off to try to sleep. Got to still my head and quieten my heart. The apprehension has kicked in now and worse case scenarios are playing away in my head. My fertile imagination isn't helping very much!

wilson keppel and betty

I needed a bit of cheering up and Ravi reminded me that music hall is always a good cure for..well almost anything. So I have been searching youtube for music hall act. I am not using this act as part of my PhD nevertheless they are very good. Are they a dance act? A comedy trio? A foreign turn? I never really know where to place WK&B. But they always make me laugh and confuse me. So, if you haven't already had the pleasure - Ladies and Gentlemen I give you Wilson Keppel and Betty:

clearing up

There is a lot to do at Loudon HQ. I have made a start today and managed to fill 4 bin bags and made some tough decisions about nick nacks! In addition I made some interesting phone calls to insurance companies to find out how much it is going to cost us to insure the car and house in Liverpool 6. I made some unpleasant discoveries: With my current providers the car insurance was going to go up £400 to £923 and the household £180 to £340. Now that is a steep increase from leafy Sea Mills to lovely Everton...and one that is at once shocking and is surely an injustice. No wonder poorer people don't buy insurance - they pay twice as much as the rich!

Anyway, I made a number of phone calls and managed to get some really good deals with Ecclesiastical Insurance who not only made good discounts for me as a curate but also gave a first policy discount and discount for taking out two policies. The saving was great but the price difference is still shocking.

I am going to sort out some more stuff, clean some more stuff, move bits and bobs about and make sure I get an early night. I am getting excited now about the move (only 3 sleeps left!!!!). The excitement has nearly beaten the fear.

Bridget and Liz H

Liz H has had a little boy - Tobias. He was born in the early hours of the morning. I am so made up because that means I get to see him before we leave. I am so excited for Phil and Liz that they have a little boy, they are coming out of the hospital later tonight and tomorrow Bridget and I will go and visit the brood.

I have had a great day - after my feeling strange day yesterday I am relieved that I managed to turn some of the negativity around (see as the classic Sunday school songs says - "a little talk with Jesus makes it right all right") I problem shared with God is not much of a problem after all. Not to say that the anxiety has magically disappeared but just when I needed to feel like I had a friend I got a great morning shopping, chatting and eating cake with Bridget. I know we left it a bit late to get to be good friends but I love Bridget and she is great.

I am going to miss both Liz and Bridget a great deal when I move. The risk of being good friends with anyone is that you will miss them when they aren't about any more. Love is a crazy thing isn't it: Love only works if you take the risk and that is what makes it hurt when it goes. Not that Liz, Bridget and I will not love each other anymore just that not being in the everyday of each other's lives will mean that we have to renegotiate our relationships. So, that hurts a bit. But I have to say it has been worth it.

a bit strange

It has all gone a bit strange! I now feel like I am out of my depth or a bit lost at sea (or other wet, worried about drowning, unsettled feeling metaphors). I have finished at Trinity (bar the meetings, ceremonies and parties) but am not ready for the next thing. I am moving on Monday and yet not even slightly ready for it. I have nothing packed, everything is a mess, I haven't sorted the cleaning of this house and I don't know if I need to clean the new one (?). We haven't got a cooker for the new house, the carpets (i.e. who's going to pay for them) haven't been sorted, I haven't changed the insurance or the electricity. Suddenly I we are moving and there is so much to do and I have no time to sort it.

Anyway, I had a great day with my new boss, the incumbent (vicar) at the churches I am going to in Liverpool. He came down for a day at Trinity to meet everyone here and hear a bit about what I have been up to. It was a bit strange but it was also a good way to break us into being colleagues. I think my head is going to explode with all this new stuff. It just seems like I am having to react to too many things.

Anyway, the danger is that I panic now and become reactive to all this in a negative way instead of making sure that this is a positive experience. It is only a move after all...

all done

The exam is done and I am now free! The stress of this has been building for so long it feels very strange to be free of it. I can't really discuss how I did and I am finding it difficult to process the whole thing (I shall never speak of the exam again!). I now have a nasty headache and a lot of nervous energy. However, I have got a new haircut (I got a lovely head massage and sat in the massage chair for quite sometime which was great) and I also have collected my special linen black ordination trousers which were specially made for me. So, all is well.

I am sitting in front of the telly, awaiting a plate of chicken curry and a glass of white wine (it will be just a glass as I have a busy day tomorrow and my new boss is coming to stay - he arrives very late this evening). I have a few post-Trinity leavers chores to do and seeing as Liz H has gone into hospital (perhaps a baby might come out in the next 24hrs?) I have a few more bits and bobs to do than I had expected. It would be so great if she gives birth soon because I ould love to see the baby before I leave. I am actually very very excited about the prospect of a small Hassall child.

So, the next few days will be quite busy with meetings and parties. A wonderful combination - and quite typical of the Church of England. I will keep you posted.

foundation

Over the last 2 years I have blogged about Foundation a lot. If you want to know how many times then do a blog search and you'll see! I love Foundation. Even when I have found it hard I have loved Foundation. Perhaps my longing for it as a community has sometimes led me to be cross or protective or romantic but it has been a significant part of my life in Bristol and I am going to miss it a great deal. I say "it" but actually I mean (in no particular order) the people, the fellowship, the theology, the debate, the craic, the pub, Cotham church.

Last night I went to my last little service admirably led by fellow ordainand Philippa. As we all sat around the church and reflected on our limitations (Philippa's theme for the reflection) I was struck by just how limitless God's love is for us. There we were just 'being' together and there was the limitless love of God reflected in our 'being'. We, the ramshackled people of God, 'doing our do' - and in felt good.

As ends go it was a good one. I was very grateful for Paul Robert's affirming prayer for me and my family. I was pleased to be able to say goodbye to my friends and fellow pilgrims. So, thanks Foundation for everything.

I will see you at Greenbelt (or the 'next place') and will miss you loads. xxx